Unexpected friendships,
Over the next while, I just want to share the people in my life that are there to support me during the darkest of times, and these are the people that can have a way of making me see the bright side of life, can make me smile when life is not worth smiling about.
A question that is asked often in the mental health space is do you have a safety plan. It was a concept that I thought I would never need; I would be ok. As time goes on, I have built a plan. The people in it are aware of my issues, and when I am in crisis, or there is a perceived issue that may arise, phone calls are made, and people check-in.
When I was hospitalized after swallowing 60 plus sleeping pills in 2018, Elise reached out to Ev, and let him know what had happened, there was not a second thought in his mind he asked where are you, and what do you need. He dropped everything and headed to Winchester to do whatever needed to be done. At some point, Elise had asked me if I wanted anyone to come or anyone to visit, and the only person I said was Ev.
There was no judgment from him, and I remember him being upset that he did not see it coming and that I was mentaly in bad shape. The next day when I came home, Ev, reached out, and we chatted about a plan and what the next steps were going to be.
At that point, Bytown terrified me, that I would have every member, knowing what I did, and at that point, I was not ready to share my story. Ev asked when I was planning to come in, and I shared my concerns with him, that it was going to be a while before I was comfortable going in.
I think he said something like I would see you tomorrow, and if we sit in the parking lot, then that is what we do. I arrived for the time we usually workout and sat for a while and finally came in, and I not sure if I worked out or just moved, but I made it in.
Post-workout, we sat on a box, and with the most genuine and compassionate tone, he asked the questions about what do you need. Before I could answer, he laid out a few things that he knew would help. He had made a space upstairs for me to work so that I could get out of the house. Workouts were at 9:00 am, and we will see you then. If I did not show up for a class, he would connect and see what’s up. Ev came my accountability person, someone that had no judgment but just honest concern for my well being.
When I first met Ev as a coach, I would not go to a class that he coached because he scared the shit out of me. Today we are very close, and he still checks in and will always make time for me no matter what time of the day. As our friendship grows and we continue to be open and vulnerable, I realize what he has done, not just for me but also for other people in the community. Willing to help people out when they are in need, not asking for anything in return.
I never have to say this to him, but I often do!
Thank you, Ev, for being part of my safety plan!
If you are struggling, think about the people you could reach out to if you needed help. Who would drop everything in the middle of the night to sit with you, or facetime you just to be there to support!
(PS I had to screenshot a video as we have no pictures together!)
